"Confidence is the feeling" joke
Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...