"Clever Fred" joke
A worried father confronted his daughter one night.' I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it.'
'Oh no, Daddy,' the daughter replied,' Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month.'
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!
Don't criticize your wife...if she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.