"Chuck Norris is the only person that can survive r..." joke
Chuck Norris is the only person that can survive russian roulette with a fully loaded gun
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Don't criticize your wife...if she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.