"Choose Hell" joke
A man died and went to hell. There he was recived by the director angel of hell. The angel asked him "Are you from the first, second, or third world?".
The man said "I am from the free world".
The angel said "Go to department number 1".
He went there were he saw another angel. The angel said "Since this part of hell is for the free domacratic world you have the choice for the way you are going to be punished. I will take you around and you will choose what suits you".
He took him to the first room where people are being grilled on a charcoal. The man said "Ooooh this is too much for me".
He took him to the second room where people are being fried in hot oil. He said "No this is too oily for me can't you take me to somthing which suits me. The angel asked him "Where do you come from".
"I am British, said the man with a proud voice.
"OK, go to room number 627 that is good for you", said the angel. There the man found people standing, with half of there bodies sunk in shit, and drinking tea.
"That is not too bad", said the man. He joined them and started drinking the tea. Ten minutes later the angel guard of the room said with a firm voice: "OK, tea time is over, every body upside down".
An angel wrote:
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once, more...
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile more...
A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. He was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was more...
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring more...
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.
Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says more...