I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.
BOB- It's Friday the 13th. Do you have any superstitions?
GEORGE- I think it's unlucky to have superstitions.
Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Teacher: Wat do u call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
Boy: An honest man.
Teacher: Good. And what do u call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
Boy: A Boyfriend.