"Canada temperature conversion" joke

Hot 7 years ago

60 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Canada sunbathe
50 above:
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
People in Canada plant gardens.
40 above:
Italian cars won't start.
Canadians drive with the windows down.
32 above:
Distilled water freezes.
The Saskatchewan River water gets thicker.
20 above:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
15 above:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Canadians throw on a sweatshirt.
-0 -
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Canada lick the flagpole.
20 below:
People in Miami cease to exist.
Canadians get out their winter coats.
40 below:
Hollywood disintegrates.
Canada's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
60 below:
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold
enough.
80 below:
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Canadians rent some videos.
100 below:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
297 below:
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below:
ALL atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying...."Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below:
Hell freezes over.
The Canadian Hockey team wins Olympic gold.

3-year-old Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a more...

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A few minutes later, he deposits a huge more...

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effor
- Herm Albright -

Mick and Moe were arrested for smoking dope; they appeared in court on Friday. After hearing the charges against them, the judge said, "You seem like nice young men.... and this is your first offense. I'm going to give you both a second chance. Rather than wasted time in more...

(From our pastor's sermon on human nature:)
A father had two little sons, one of whom was an eternal optimist, while
the other was a perpetual pessimist. One Christmas he decided try to
temper both of their proclivities: in addition to their standard more...

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