"Canada temperature conversion" joke
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Canada sunbathe
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
People in Canada plant gardens.
Italian cars won't start.
Canadians drive with the windows down.
Distilled water freezes.
The Saskatchewan River water gets thicker.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Canadians throw on a sweatshirt.
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Canada lick the flagpole.
People in Miami cease to exist.
Canadians get out their winter coats.
Canada's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Canadians rent some videos.
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
ALL atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying...."Cold 'nuff for ya?"
Hell freezes over.
The Canadian Hockey team wins Olympic gold.
A man was involved in a terrible accident which left his member mangled and torn from his body. The doctor assured him that modern medicine did make it possible for his manhood to be rebuilt, but since it was considered cosmetic surgery, his insurance would not cover the more...
It was John The Milkman's birthday. Being a friendly sort of chap, he knew most of his customers and had told quite of few of them about his birthday. When he reached number 28, he was met by Mrs. Jones, the young attractive occupant. She asked him into the house and gave him an more...
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].
Before it got more...
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
10 reasons why a dog doesn't use a computer:
10. T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (It's hard to type with paws)
9. 'Sit' and 'stay' were hard enough; 'delete' and 'save' are out of the question.
8. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
7. Carpal more...