"California Crazy Law" joke
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1, 500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants. Bathhouses are against the law. In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs. No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. Women may not drive in a house coat. It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways. You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit. Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash." You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows. It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds. Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor) Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits. Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine. It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995). It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time. You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person. It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String". It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace. It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course. Cars are the only item allowed in a garage. Toads may not be licked. You may not hunt moths under a street light. It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison. You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time. Zoot suits are prohibited. It is illegal to cry on the witness stand. It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent. Roosters may not crow in the city limits. Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine. It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM. It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss. Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house. Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it. One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock. The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250. It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar. Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street. Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash. It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner. It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear. It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7. 08. 595 You may not play percussion instruments on the beach. Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.
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