A blond and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blond asked the brunette what she was going to buy.
The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?"
The blond said, "I think I'm gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it."
"Least Popular Christmas Carols" (as sung by the Late Show Carolers)
As presented on the 12/03/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
"I Saw Mommy Marry Larry King"
"Boris the Red-Nosed Yeltsin Had an 86-Proof Nose"
all im going to do is crack an egg on your head... BANG!!!... whoops! it was hard boiled