"Brother George" joke
Ralph and his friend were driving through town when they came to a red light. Cruising right through the red light, Ralph's friend expressed concern. "Don't worry," Ralph said. "My brother George does it all the time and he never gets caught."
Coming up on another red light at the next intersection, Ralph again went speeding right through. "Don't worry," Ralph assured his friend, "George does this every day and nothing ever happens to him."
At the next intersection the light was green and Ralph came to a complete stop.
"Why do you run through all the red lights and when we come to a green light you stop?" asked his friend.
"George might be coming through," replied Ralph.
Ralph, feeling very ill, goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to
the hospital to undergo tests.
After the lengthy exam, he wakes up hungry and quite groggy. Ralph looks about,
noticing that he is now in a private room at the hospital. Just then the more...
Ralph is driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it's
his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present.
He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store and says to the shop
assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"
In a more...
A scene from the movie Ruthless People. It's been a while but I'll try to retell the scene for anyone who hasn't seen it before.
Danny De Vito is in his office behind his desk and is being questioned by some geeky guy (I think a cop) sitting across from him. The phone rings more...