"Bottle of Wine" joke
An extremely wealthy man walks into a fancy restaurant. He notices a beautiful woman sitting all alone at a table in the corner. He decides to send her a bottle of wine to get her attention. He tells the busboy to give her a bottle of their most expensive wine and tell her its from him.
The busyboy does as instructed and returns with a note from the woman.
The note reads, "For me to accept this bottle, you must have a Mercedes in the driveway, one million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants."
The man reads this and sends the woman a note he wrote himself.
His note read, "For your information I have a Ferrari and a BMW in my garage, two million in the bank, and not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off my penis. Just send the bottle back."
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one
Madonna doesn't have one and
Bill Clinton uses his a lot
What is "it"?
A last name!
Now what were you thinking?
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...