"Blonde and toilet" joke
why did the blonde throw bread down the toilet?
to feed the toilet duck
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.
A guy walks into a bar and orders twelve shots of Tequila to be set in front of him. When the bartender is done he proceeds to shoot all twelve in a row.
When he sets the last glass done with a heavy sigh, the bartender asks him what that was all about, he replies he was more...
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.