"Blonde and toilet" joke
why did the blonde throw bread down the toilet?
to feed the toilet duck
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.
In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a flounder is flat?" Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Little Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Little Johnny. more...
Q: Why do gypsies walk funny?
A: Cause they've got crystal balls!