"Blonde Slut" joke

Mary went to Jill's place to tell her about a horrible experience she'd had the previous night with this guy she brought home.

"Well, what happened when you got there?" Jill asked

"The bastard called me a blonde slut!" Mary said.

"And what did you do then?" Jill asked, shocked.

"I told him to get the hell out of my bedroom and take his eight friends with him!"

The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Jim decided to propose to Sandy. But prior to her acceptance, Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts the maturity of a 12 year old's.

He stated that it was okay, because he loved more...

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