"Beethoven in the park" joke

Hot 1 year ago

A symphony orchestra is performing Beethoven's 9th in the park. It's so windy that the music sheets need to be tied down so they won't blow away.

The tuba players just did their first bit, and they won't need to perform for a while, so they go to the bar across the street to get some drinks. Finally they hear that their next part coming soon, so they go back across the street. But they're so drunk, they can't untie the music!

So the conductor looks over, and sees the tuba players, stumbling over each other trying to untie the music. He freaks out and thinks, "Oh no! It's the bottom of the ninth, the bases are loaded, and the score is tied!"

President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton's ear.
All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, "Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!".
She more...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic

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