"Animal Thoughts" joke

After watching that imbecile on television who claims to know what common household pets are thinking, it was decided that we too, would do the impossible...Dog "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl."Goldfish "Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same fish flakes over and over... Oh boy! Fish flakes!"Dog "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is!"Goldfish "The knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!"Parrot "Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy clowns ever really give me a cracker? HELL NO!"Cat "Why are these people in my house?"Dog "I don't care if you take the jewelry or money, but don't mess with the fridge."Goldfish "Oh, tap-tap-tap! There's a new one!"Cat "I wish he would stop kicking me down the stairs."Dog "The 'pretending to throw a stick' game is getting old, but I seem unable to stop myself from looking for it."Cat "Why did they put this service bell on my neck if they're not going to answer to it."Dog "Why is the baby eating my food..."Hamster "Kill me, this wheel is boring."Gerbil "OH NO, not again!"Dog "I bet if he could do that, he wouldn't be telling me to stop."Cat "Oh no, he's picking me up to do another 'land on all fours off the balcony' test again."

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