"And Now the News..." joke

In the News:

The Free Hugs campaign, which started in Australia and is aimed at cheering up strangers by hugging them on the street, is not going over too well in China, with some huggers even being hauled away to jail – where cellmates tend to encourage hugs.

A Mississippi woman let her husband, an avid sports fan, pick the name for their newborn son. He named the boy ESPN but the other kids will probably call him ESPenis, LeSPN, and Loser-I’m-Gonna-Kick-Your-Butt-at-RecessPN.

The mayor of Gallatin, Tennessee claims he didn’t know, when he allowed filmmakers to use his office to shoot "Thong Girl 3," that the movie was about a super-heroine who gets her powers from her red thong. Citizens are outraged and rightly so. Every decent politician knows his porn.

A Washington state man was charged with bestiality after his wife found him on the back porch having intercourse with their female pit bull terrier. He faces up to five years in prison or a term in Congress.

Since most of the originals have long since disappeared, 21 locations have been nominated to be the New 7 Wonders of the World. They include the Acropolis, the Taj Mahal, and Pamela Anderson’s boob job.

In court papers, lawyers for accused “dirty bomber” Jose Padilla claim he was given PCP or LSD while held as an enemy combatant. Matthew McConaughey immediately volunteered for interrogation.

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