"Analyzing Bacteria" joke
The teacher of a high school biology class had his students analyzing bacteria under the microscope. To show them the types of bacteria found in the human mouth, he had them take scrapings from between their own teeth and analyze these scrapings under the microscope.
One girl was stumped in identifying the bacteria she scraped from between her teeth.
The teacher took a look, stared disgustedly at the puzzled girl and said, "Those are sperm cells."
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.
"What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband.
"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and more...
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
'What can I get you?' the barman asks.
'I want six shots of whisky,' responds the young man.
'Six shots? Are you celebrating something?'
'Yeah, my first blowjob.'
'Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on more...
My girlfriend asked, "Do you want to get married?"
I said, "Sure."
She said, "Great, when?"
I said, "Well like every other guy, when I meet the right girl."