"Airplane Pilot" joke
A plane takes off from New York's Kennedy Airport. After it reaches a cruising altitude, Captain Sparks makes an announcement over the intercom.' Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flight 293,' he says.' The weather ahead looks clear, so sit back, relax and - OH MY GOD!' The intercom falls silent. A minute later, Capt. Sparks comes back on the intercom.' I'm so sorry for scaring you all earlier,' he says.' But while I was talking, an attendant spilled a boiling cup of coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'' That's nothing,' a passenger in coach shouted.' You should see the back of mine!'
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one
Madonna doesn't have one and
Bill Clinton uses his a lot
What is "it"?
A last name!
Now what were you thinking?
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...