"Airplane Pilot" joke

A plane takes off from New York's Kennedy Airport. After it reaches a cruising altitude, Captain Sparks makes an announcement over the intercom.' Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flight 293,' he says.' The weather ahead looks clear, so sit back, relax and - OH MY GOD!' The intercom falls silent. A minute later, Capt. Sparks comes back on the intercom.' I'm so sorry for scaring you all earlier,' he says.' But while I was talking, an attendant spilled a boiling cup of coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'' That's nothing,' a passenger in coach shouted.' You should see the back of mine!'

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one

Michael J. Fox has a short one

Madonna doesn't have one and

Bill Clinton uses his a lot

What is "it"?



A last name!

Now what were you thinking?

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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