"Aging woman" joke

Hot 6 years ago

Age 8:
Looks at herself and sees Cinderella / Sleeping Beauty etc.
Age 15:
Looks at herself and sees Cinderella / Sleeping Beauty / Cheerleader or if she is PMS'ing: sees Fat / Pimples / UGLY ("Mom, I can't go to school looking like this!")
Age 20:
Looks at herself and sees "too fat / too thin, too short/ too tall, too straight / too curly" - but decides she's going anyway.
Age 30:
Looks at herself and sees "too fat / too thin, too short / too tall, too straight / too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going anyway.
Age 40:
Looks at herself and sees "too fat / too thin, too short / too tall, too straight / too curly" - but says, "At least, I'm clean," and goes anyway.
Age 50:
Looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes where ever she wants to.
Age 60:
Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.
Age 70:
Looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.
Age 80:
Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a red hat and goes out to participate in the world.
Age 90:
Can't see and so doesn't worry about it!

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, "How long have you been wearing that bra?" The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."

The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:

"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

* In Latin America, they didn't more...

A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man more...

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run. She still has the grenade in her mouth.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men s they're a bunch of liars.

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