"Wife is a better half" joke
A man's wife is his better half, but his mistress is his better hole.
Teacher: Wat do u call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
Boy: An honest man.
Teacher: Good. And what do u call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
Boy: A Boyfriend.
Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.
Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.