"A man met a beautiful" joke
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other."He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along."So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out
and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.She said," That was incredible!"He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along!"So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath.He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?""No." she said, "I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal.
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
These two fleas are sitting in Florida. One is shivering like crazy, saying "that has got to be the coldest ride I have ever had in my life!"
"How did you get here?" asks the other flea.
"I was in the moustache of some guy riding his motorcycle more...
Four men went to play golf.
Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and more...