"A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident..." joke
A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident.The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up inhis book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and lookedit up in his book also. "Now, if you will come with me, Iwill show you your eternal dwellings," said St. Peter. Theywalked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with allsorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyerand told him this was to be his house. The Pope, knowing howimportant he was to the church could hardly imagine what hishouse would be like. St. Peter and the Pope continued on toa small, beat-up wooden shack. St. Peter told the Pope thatthis would be his dwelling. The Pope, shocked, said toSt. Peter, "Just a minute! That other guy was a lawyer and hegets a mansion. I was the head of the Roman Catholic church, and this is all the reward I get?" St. Peter looked at thePope and said "True, you have done great things. Butwe have lots of Popes in Heaven, and that guy was the firstlawyer ever to make it up here."
Maurice and Sadie invited Nigel, their gentile neighbour for a Passover dinner. The first course was served and Sadie said to Nigel, “This is matzoh ball soup.”
When Nigel saw the two large matzoh balls in the soup, he was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. But more...
In a small town some where in Illinois lies a family. It consisted of a husband, wife, three sons, and a daughter. One of the sons had a terrible secret.
"Dad, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm gay," said the son.
The Dad was furious he more...
Q: Why are women so bad at mathematics?
A: Because men keep telling them that this...
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... is 12 inches.
Four men went to play golf.
Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and more...
A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in Canada - you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said more...