"A Scotsman at The Zoo" joke

Hot 5 years ago

A Scotsman was on his first visit to a zoo and he sees an animal that he has never seen before, so he asks the zoo keeper "
what animal it this"
.The zoo keeper replies "
Thats a moose sir, from Canada"
. "
A moose"
says the surprised Scotsman "
They must have rats like elaphants over there!"

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of more...

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! what are you doing?"
The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and more...

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Problem was, the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently more...

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...

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