"A Psycho's Twelve Days Of Christmas!" joke

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a frontal lobotomy.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two cases of Prozac.
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three stays at the
"hospital".
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four group sessions.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, five self help books.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six restraining orders.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, seven counts of
harassment.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight cries for help.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine attempts to escape.
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten ripped off
fingernails.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven body pieces.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
twelve life sentences,
eleven body pieces,
ten ripped off fingernails,
nine attempts to escape,
eight cries of help,
seven counts of harrassment,
six restraining orders,
five self help books,
four group sessions,
three stays at the "hospital",
two cases of Prozac,
and a frontal lobotomy.
Or, was that today? uh oh...

Three Labrador retrievers (chocolate, yellow and black colored) are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation. The black lab turns to the chocolate and says, "So why are you here?"
The chocolate lab replies, "I'm a more...

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