"90's Mentality Signs" joke

* Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast-food bags out of the back seat of your car.
* Your reason for not staying in better touch with your family is that they don't have E-mail addresses.
* Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's homepage to your bookmarks.
* You have a "to do" list that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks -and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.
* You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.
* Standard pick-up lines now include references to liquid assets and capital gains.
* You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
* You refer to your dining room table as "the flat filing cabinet."
* Your idea of being organized is multiple colored sticky notes.
* Your grocery list has been on the front of your fridge so long some of the products don't even exist any longer.
* You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on how to improve their production and marketing processes.
* You get all excited when it's Saturday - and that just means you can wear your sweats to work.
* You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as "deliverables."
* You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what it is you do for a living.
* You typically eat out of vending machines, and at the most expensive restaurant in the city, within the same week.
* You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are standard and acceptable English phrases.
* You know the people at the airport hotels better than your next-door neighbors.
* You ask your friends to, "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.
* You think Einstein would have been more effective if he put his ideas into matrix.
* You think a "half day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
* You hear most of your jokes via E-mail instead of in person.

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