Yoda Jokes / Recent Jokes

Y. O. D. A (To the Village People's "Y. M. C. A")
(As sung by master Yoda, on meeting Luke Skywalker).
YOUNG MAN, I saw your ship come down. I said YOUNG MAN, now it's muddy and brown. I said YOUNG MAN, put your weapon away, 'cause I *MEAN* *YOU* *NO* *HARM* *I* *SAY* YOUNG MAN, There's no need to feel fear. I am WONDERIN', tell me why are you here? How you GROWIN', from this food on the plate, I say *WARS* *DO* *NOT* *MAKE* *ONE* *GREAT*
You must be here to see Y. O. D. A You must be here to see Y. O. D. A. He's 900 years old! He's so strong in the Force! Do your Jedi Diploma course!
You must be here to see Y. O. D. A You must be here to see Y. O. D. A Come and get yourself clean! Come and have a good meal! Pretty soon now, the Force you'll feel!
YOUNG MAN, you fell out of the sky, into SOMETHIN' brown that smells like a sty, and this TIN CAN started swimming and then, he got *SPAT* *OUT* *LIKE* *SOME* *THROAT* *PHLEGM* YOUNG MAN, Welcome to Dagobah. He more...

Y. O. D. A (To the Village People's "Y. M. C. A")(As sung by master Yoda, on meeting Luke Skywalker). YOUNG MAN, I saw your ship come down. I saidYOUNG MAN, now it's muddy and brown. I saidYOUNG MAN, put your weapon away, 'cause I*MEAN* *YOU* *NO* *HARM* *I* *SAY*YOUNG MAN, There's no need to feel fear. I amWONDERIN', tell me why are you here? How youGROWIN', from this food on the plate, I say*WARS* *DO* *NOT* *MAKE* *ONE* *GREAT*You must be here to see Y. O. D. AYou must be here to see Y. O. D. A. He's 900 years old! He's so strong in the Force! Do your Jedi Diploma course! You must be here to see Y. O. D. AYou must be here to see Y. O. D. ACome and get yourself clean! Come and have a good meal! Pretty soon now, the Force you'll feel! YOUNG MAN, you fell out of the sky, intoSOMETHIN' brown that smells like a sty, and thisTIN CAN started swimming and then, he got*SPAT* *OUT* *LIKE* *SOME* *THROAT* *PHLEGM*YOUNG MAN, Welcome to Dagobah. He isCOMIN', master Yoda not far. I'll more...

Two droids were talking.

One says to the other, "Did you beat the Wookiee at Dejarikk?"

And the other answers, "Yes, but it cost me an arm and a leg."

-----------------------------

Yoda and Obi-Wan walked into a bar and bought a 5 dollar drink.

Yoda, seeing that he only had 4 dollars asked Obi-Wan, "Have a dollar do you? A little short I am."

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Yoda!
Yoda who?
Yoda leh ee-hoooo!

Knock-knock!
Who's there?
Yoda!
Yoda who?
Yo-da door's stuck! Lemme in!

Y. O. D. A (To the Village People's "Y. M. C. A")(As sung by master Yoda, on meeting Luke Skywalker). YOUNG MAN, I saw your ship come down. I saidYOUNG MAN, now it's muddy and brown. I saidYOUNG MAN, put your weapon away,' cause I*MEAN* *YOU* *NO* *HARM* *I* *SAY*YOUNG MAN, There's no need to feel fear. I amWONDERIN', tell me why are you here? How youGROWIN', from this food on the plate, I say*WARS* *DO* *NOT* *MAKE* *ONE* *GREAT*You must be here to see Y. O. D. AYou must be here to see Y. O. D. A. He's 900 years old! He's so strong in the Force! Do your Jedi Diploma course! You must be here to see Y. O. D. AYou must be here to see Y. O. D. ACome and get yourself clean! Come and have a good meal! Pretty soon now, the Force you'll feel! YOUNG MAN, you fell out of the sky, intoSOMETHIN' brown that smells like a sty, and thisTIN CAN started swimming and then, he got*SPAT* *OUT* *LIKE* *SOME* *THROAT* *PHLEGM*YOUNG MAN, Welcome to Dagobah. He isCOMIN', master Yoda not far. I'll more...

Here's an original (to my best knowledge) by Donald Simmons that was
posted to a kind of strange thread on ncsu.general...
[Note - posted with Andy Simmons' permission. My thanks to him - ed.]
From: [email protected] (Donald Andrew Simmons)
Subject: Re: Yoda Grammar
In article ,
Ravi K. Swamy wrote:
>
>>Ever wonder if there are others of Yoda's race, and if they speak the
>>same way?
>
>Oh, the horror.
Imagine the yoda-men in the office, around the water cooler.
Yoda 1: Hello, Bill.
Yoda 2: Morning, Hank.
Yoda 1: Finish that proposal, you did?
Yoda 2: Yes, finally. Quite a chore, it was.
Yoda 1: That Henderson, he is a slave driver, eh?
Yoda 2: Yes. To kick his ass I'd like. "There is no try, only do."
Asshole he is.