A group of Jewish American Tourist are in London and on their itinary is listed a visit to Blooms Kosher Restaurant in Golders Green.
After being seated at the table they are served by a Chinese Waiter, who conducts the whole conversation in Yiddish.
After the meal and just before they are about to leave, they are confronted by the owner, Mr. Bloom, who asks them if they enjoyed the meal.
The leader of the group states that they were well satisfied by the food and service, but were amazed that the waiter only spoke in yiddish.
Mr. Bloom placed the index finger of his right hand to his lips and said "Shush, he thinks he's speaking in English"!!
During the first day of Hanukah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City. They were talking amongst themselves in Yiddish - the colorful language of Jews who came over from Eastern Europe.
A Chinese waiter, only one year in New York, came up and in fluent impeccable Yiddish asked them if everything was okay and if they were enjoying the holiday.
The Jewish men were dumbfounded. "Where did he ever learn such perfect Yiddish?" they both thought. After they paid the bill they asked the restaurant manager, an old friend of theirs, "Where did our waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?"
The manager looked around and leaned in so no one else will hear and said... "Shhhh. He thinks we're teaching him English."
Two Jewish men are sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in the Jewish section of town. They are talking amongst themselves in Yiddish. A Chinese waiter comes up and in fluent impeccable Yiddish asks them if everything is okay, can he get them anything, and so forth.The Jewish men are dumbfounded. "My God, where did he learn such perfect Yiddish?" they both think.After they pay the bill they ask the manager of the store, an old friend also fluent in Yiddish "Where did our waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?"The owner looks around and leans in so no-one else will hear and says, "Shhhh. He thinks we're teaching him English."
On a bus in Tel Aviv, a mother was talking animatedly, in Yiddish, to her little boy - who kept answering her in Hebrew. And each time the mother said, "No, no, talk Yiddish!" An inpatient Israeli, overhearing this, exclaimed, "Lady, why do you insist the boy talk Yiddish instead of Hebrew?" Replied the mother, "I don't want him to forget he's a Jew."
Shlomo wants to buy a parrot and goes to a pet shop to see what they have.
The assistant shows him a parrot and explains that this one is really quite special - it can speak most languages. So Shlomo decides to test this out.
"Do you speak English?" asks Shlomo.
"Yes," replied the parrot.
"Hablas Espanol?" asks Shlomo.
"Si," replied the parrot.
"Parlez vouz Francais?" asks Shlomo.
"Oui," replied the parrot.
"Sprechen sie Deutsch?" asks Shlomo.
"Ja," replied the parrot.
Shlomo pauses for a while, then
asks the parrot, "Do you speak Yiddish?"
The parrot shrugs its shoulders and says, "Nu? Vis a nose like dis,
vot you tink?"