Wrestler Jokes

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    Biting Nuts

    Hot 1 year ago

    The Russian wrestling team and American wrestling team are having a 5-on-5 exhibition match. Both teams are down to their final wrestlers, tied at two wins apiece. The remaining American wrestler is 5'10", 175lbs., and his Russian counterpart is 6'7", 300lbs and all muscle. The American coach sends his wrestler into the match with little hope of winning. As expected, the Russian has with way with the American. Suddenly, the American explosively turns the match around, pins the Russian, and gains the victory for the American team.

    The American wrestler returns to the sidelines where the coach asks him, "Son, how were you able to defeat that big Russian? Honestly, I didn't give you much of a chance."

    The wrestler says, "Well, coach, when he had me down on the ground all rolled up, I saw a pair of nuts dangling in front of my face, and I just bit them as hard as I could."

    The coach is shocked. "That's how you beat more...

    The world's most incredibly lazy man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. He wished for a horse, a sumo wrestler and a squirrel.

    "They're yours, but what are they for?" the genie asked.

    "I'm tired of walking everywhere--I want to just ride the horse. The sumo wrestler is so that I won't have to work to get on the horse."

    "But the squirrel?" asked the genie.

    "I need something to go' click-click' to start the horse!!!"

    Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said,' Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this pretzel hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!' The wrestler nodded in agreement.

    The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.

    Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat more...

    A few years ago at the World Amateur Wrestling Championship, there was a pairing of an experienced and undefeated Russian heavyweight wrestler going up against an inexperienced, upstart American heavyweight.
    The main reason for the Russian wrestler's success was a hideous hold he had developed called the 'pretzel hold'. He had pinned every wrestler he had faced using this hold. It was called the 'Pretzel hold' because when the hold was applied, his opponent's body would resemble the shape of a pretzel. Once applied, no wrestler had ever been able to escape the hold.
    When the match between the Russian and the American began, it was evident that the American had superior quickness, but the Russian was stronger and was just laying in wait for the American to make a mistake so he could apply the pretzel hold. Sure enough, that opportunity soon came to play and the Russian grabbed the American and applied the hold. The crowd groaned and the American wrestler's trainers had to look more...

    I hear your wife's a good wrestler, but personally I want too see her box.

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