Wraps Jokes

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    Corporate Lesson 1

    Hot 3 years ago

    Share Critical Information Pertaining to Credit and Risk
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on."
    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
    When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower,
    "Who was that?"
    "It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies.
    "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the more...

    This is the time of year when we think back to the very first
    Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb,
    went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew,
    "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."

    These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we
    discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact
    there is no mention of wrapping paper.

    If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so "And
    lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the
    paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And
    Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him,
    she saideth,' Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next
    year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was
    more interested in the paper than the frankincense."

    But these words do not appear in the more...

    Lesson 1:
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I `ll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

    Moral of the story:
    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


    Lesson 2:
    A priest more...

    Lesson 1:
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
    When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "
    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
    The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
    "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
    "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

    Moral of the story:

    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
    Lesson more...

    This guy walks into a petstore. For the past two weeks he has suspected his wife of cheating on him, so he decides to buy a parrot that can tell him what goes on at his housee during the day while he is at work.
    'Well' says the petstore owner, 'I only got one bird that can do that, but he's got no legs. The guy looks at him and says, 'Well if he ain't got no legs, how's he balance himself on the perch.
    'He's got a really long penis, so he wraps it around the perch.' The guy thinks it over and decides to buy the parrot. He takes it home and sure enough the bird wraps his penis around the perch for balance.
    Everyday the man comes home and asks the parrot if his wife has been cheating on him. Everytime the same answer, 'Raawk, nothing doing, Raawk'. Well, one day he comes home and finds the parrot lying on the bottom of its birdcage. He picks it up and asks what has happened. 'Raawk, big happenings, Raawk, big happenings'. 'Well, what happened?' asks the man. The parrot more...

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