Worms Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day Jim was out fishing and was not having any luck at all, he tried lures, worms and other types of bait and was just not catching anything. Tom was fishing about 20 feet from him and was catching fish as fast as he cast his line out. Jim was gettingvery jealous of this show off, so he asked the Tom what he was using for bait. The man said,
"I am using worms, but I dip them in whiskey"
Jim got really interested in this technique so he asked Tom if he could try one of these drunk worms. Tom had no problem with this request so he handed Jim one of the worms. Jim placed the worm on the hook and cast out no sooner than his hook hit the water, Jims pole began to bow like crazy, he set his hook and started to reel it in. Once he got his catch up to the shore he noticed that the worm had the fish by the throat......
People over 35 should be dead.
Here's why. ...........
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived.
Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets.
Lets not mention the extreme risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from more...
Here's why. ...........
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived.
Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets,. .. and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets.
Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.
We would spend hours building more...
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms." Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail." Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked. Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded..."Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite
He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck.
Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer.
"Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?"
The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."
"What was that?" the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums more...
A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in whiskey curled up and died.
"All right, son." asked the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed.
After years of this the wife wants him to quit, so she gets 2 shot glasses, filling 1 with water the other with whiskey.
She gets him to the table with the glasses and has his bait box there too.
She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey and the worm dies.
She says "so what do you have to say about this experiment?"
He says "IF I DRINK WHISKEY I WON'T GET WORMS!"