Wondering Jokes

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    100 Reasons It's Good to Be a Woman
    1. free drinks
    2. free dinners
    3. free lunches
    4. free movies (you get the point)
    5. you can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay
    6. you can cry without pretending there's something in your contact
    7. you know the truth about whether size matters
    8. Speeding ticket? What's that?
    9. you can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay
    10. you actually get extra points for sitting on your butt watching sports
    11. you don't have to try to laugh louder, deeper and harder than your buddies
    12. if you never have a son, it's okay
    13. if you do have a son, and he's a lousy athlete, it's still okay
    14. if YOU'RE a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being
    15. a new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life
    16. in high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned
    17. if you have sex with someone more...

    New Technology

    Hot 6 years ago

    A german, a japanese, and a texan were all in a sauna butt-naked.All they were wearing was a towel around their waist.
    All of a sudden, the german looks at his side.The texan, wondering what he was doing, saw he had a pager built into his side. He said you have a pager built into your waist?
    The german says, "
    Yeah! New german technology great stuff!"
    The texan was confused.
    Then, all of a sudden, they heard a ringing sound. The japanese started talking into his wrist.The texan saw this and said"
    You have a telephone built into your wrist?"
    The japanese said,"
    Yeah! new japanese technology! great stuff!"
    Confused once more, the texan just said,"
    I got to use the men's room, I need time to think."
    So he went, and when he got back, he found that the german was looking at him kinda' funny. Wondering why, the german said,"
    You have a piece of toliet paper coming out of your butt!"
    The more...

    Why it's better to be a Woman! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies. .. (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If more...

    Last Christmas we were thinking about all the things we didn't have; this Christmas we are thinking about all the things we do have.
    Last Christmas we were placing wreaths on the doors of our homes; this Christmas we are placing wreaths on the graves of our heroes.
    Last Christmas we were letting our sons play with toy guns; this Christmas we are teaching them that guns are not toys.
    Last Christmas we were counting our money; this Christmas we are counting our blessings.
    Last Christmas we were lighting candles to decorate; this Christmas we are lighting candles to commemorate.
    Last Christmas we paid lip service to the real meaning of the holidays; this Christmas we are paying homage to it.
    Last Christmas we were digging deep into our bank accounts to find money to fly home for the holidays; this Christmas we are digging deep into our souls to find the courage to do so.
    Last Christmas we were trying not to let annoying relatives get the best of us; this more...

    The average man's life consists of:
    twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going;
    forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
    and at the end, the mourners wondering too!

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