Wish Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three Canadians...

Hot 4 months ago

Ok, 3 canadians were walking along the beach, one from the Yukon, one from Quebec, and one from Newfoundland. Now, it happened that they found a magic lamp. After rubbing it, the genie promised each of them one wish. The Yukon said, "I wish for fish teeming in our waters for a million years." The genie snapped his fingers and said, "Done."
The Yukon man went off to go fish. Now the Quebec man said, "Being as the Quebecois's (is that right?) are a superior race, I want a wall a mile high and a mile thick all the way around Quebec so no one can get in, and no one can get out.
So the genie snapped his fingers, and transported the Quebecois to Quebec so there were no problems.
The Newfie stepped up and said, "Ok, it's a mile high and a mile thick, and no one can get in or out right?"
"Correct." said the genie.
"Fill it with water."

Dad will die

Hot 3 months ago

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight.
His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK?
The son replies he is scared because he has dreamt that Auntie Susie had died.
The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that his Grandfather had died. The father assures the son that Grandfather is fine and sends him to bed. The next day the Grandfather dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that Daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed. The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is more...

Russian Genie

Hot 4 months ago

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
a genie.
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking
vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka
whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home
he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he
smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a test and
it is the best vodka
that he has ever tasted.
The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come
quickly."
She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes
another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
tells her to drink, that it more...

Poof

Hot 2 months ago

A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and POOF-the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.
Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the fairy picked up her wand and POOF - the husband was 90.

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and inthe center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and startedto rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and hesaid "I want to know the person you hate the most"The explorer said "That's gotta be my ex-wife. Why?""I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three wishes but whatever youwish for your ex-wife will get double the amount.""OK, I wish for a billion dollars""Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion""I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tenniscourts, everything""Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your final wish"The explorer walked around the room and came back to the genie with astick and said "Ya see this stick, I'd like you to beat me half to death."

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said "I want to know the person you hate the most" The explorer said "That's gotta be my ex-wife. Why?" "I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three wishes but whatever you wish for your ex-wife will get double the amount." "OK, I wish for a billion dollars" "Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion" "I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything" "Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your final wish" The explorer walked around the room and came back to the genie with a stick and said "Ya see this stick, I'd like you to beat me half to death."

I want patience

Hot 6 years ago

I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!