Wisdom Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Why wasn't Jesus born in

    Hot 2 years ago

    Why wasn't Jesus born in Italy?
    They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!

    The Switch

    Hot 6 years ago

    A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, "Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies."
    Now God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
    The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, pay the bills and balance the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
    Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to more...

    If suffering brings wisdom, I would wish to be less wise.

    Three choices

    Hot 6 years ago

    An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.
    Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
    "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
    Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.
    One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
    The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

    Gems of Wisdom

    Hot 7 years ago

    The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students.
    As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
    "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
    "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube."
    "When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
    "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
    "There is no Nitrogen in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."
    "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
    "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
    "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
    The moon is a planet just like the earth, more...

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