Wipers Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man was obsessed with women's breasts, so he went to a psychologist and told him his problem.
    "Let's play a little word association game," the doctor said. "I'll say a word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind."
    "Plums," said the doctor.
    "Breasts," the patient said.
    "Oranges."
    "Breasts," the patient replied.
    "Watermelons."
    "Breasts," said the patient.
    "Wipers."
    "Breasts," the patient said.
    "Wait a minute!" the doctor said. "I can understand the connection between plums, oranges, watermelons and breasts. But, automobile wipers? Where's the connection?"
    "Easy, doc," the patient explained, "one on the left and one on the right!"

    It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
    A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
    It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer.
    The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
    When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
    It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
    You can be legally married by publically introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
    A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special more...

    The other day I was on my way home from work when the most remarkable thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as I sat there at a red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into my windshield. If that wasn't bad enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the windshield wiper.
    Just then the light turned green and there I was with a bird stuck on my windshield. Without any other apparent options, turning on the windshield wipers seemed the only thing to do. It actually worked.
    On the upswing, the bird flew off, and here is the crazy thing... it slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind me. No, it didn't get caught under the windshield wipers of that vehicle, but the car behind me was a police car.
    Of course, knowing my luck, immediately the lights went on and I was forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told me he saw what had happened at the light. Trying to plead my case fell on deaf ears. He simply stated: I am going to have to write you up more...

    Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, aretraveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing inTransylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, outof nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the carand hisses at them through the windshield."Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should wedo?""Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of theabomination," says Sister Mary Vincent.Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock themini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissingat the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts."Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy waterbefore we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent.Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. Thevampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs onand continues hissing at the nuns."Now what?" shouts Sister Mary Agnes."Show him your cross," says Sister Mary more...

    Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. "Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should we do?" "Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Mary Vincent. Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts. "Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water before we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent. Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns. "Now what?" shouts Sis ter Mary Agnes. "Show him your cross," says more...

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