Winders Jokes / Recent Jokes

Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders.
Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.
Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag.
Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right" or "Naw".
Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos".
The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse.
Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"
Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be "Achy-Breaky Heart".
PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt".
Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++".
Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag.
Microsoft Word would be just that: one word.
Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers.
New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all more...

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one of the Georgia editions you may need some help understanding thecommands.The Georgia edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with abackground picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shippedwith a Daisy Duke screen saver.Also note: Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.Other features: Instead of an error message you geta winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape. OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over more...

How things would be different if Microsoft were headquartered in Georgia:
1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
4. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
5. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders' 95 would be an outhouse
6. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders' 95 theme song would be Achey-Breaky Heart
7. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
8. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
9. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
10. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
11. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
12. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
13. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.

It has been brought to our attention that a few copies of the Arkansas edition of Microsoft Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have received one of the Arkansas editions, you may need some help in understanding the commands. This particular edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP and displays a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate Flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs
Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
Instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
Additional features:
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = more...

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
6. The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse
7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling Freebird!
8. Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Achy-Braky Heart
9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
10. Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++
11. Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
14. New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear?
15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
16. more...

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
4. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
5. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
6. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achey-Breaky Heart
7. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
8. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
9. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
10. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
11. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
12. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
13. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition
of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If
you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help
understanding the commands.
The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening
screen. It reads Winders 98 with a background picture of the General
Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy
Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My
Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is
called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard,
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them
little ole plastic disc thangs.
Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag
and duct tape. Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital
letters or punctuation marks.
We regret any inconvenience it may have more...