Whips Jokes / Recent Jokes

jay bob and david are walking home one night from the pub and they get pulled up by 5 guys with nifes they say to jay bob and david we will let u past if u all have a 2 inch or over dick, so bob whips out his dick:7inch then david whips out his:6inches
then jay :3inches so the men with the nifes say you can go past bob says thank god my dick was 7 inches, then david said thank god my dick was 6inches then jay said thank god i hit a hardon.

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told,"First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - more...

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?"
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
But that is exactly the same as all the other more...

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"
The hunters "A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: My friend is dead! What can I do? The operator, in a calm soothing voice says:

One day a little boy and a little girl are outside playing together and they get into an argument.
The little boy holds up an army man and says " I bet you don't have one of these!"
The little girl finds her army man and holds it up "Yes I do!" she says in a superior tone.
The little boy looks through his toys and holds up a dump truck and says "Well I bet you don't have one of these!"
Once again the little girl looks through her toys and finds a dump truck and holds it up and says "Oh yes I do!" in a superior tone.
The little boy is starting to get mad so he looks through his toys and finally finds a cap gun. He holds it up and yells "Well I bet you don't have one of these!"
The little girl finds her cap gun and holds it up "Oh yes I do!" in a very snooty voice.
At this point the little boy has had it so he stands up and whips his pants down to his knees and points to his crotch and proclaims more...

A man and a woman are sitting next to each other on a flight. Suddenly, the man sneezes, whips out his dick and wipes the tip off.
Unable to believe what she just saw, the woman decides that her eyes must be playing tricks on her.
A few minutes later, the man sneezes again. He immediately whips out his dick and wipes the tip off.
The woman is going nuts. She just can't believe that such a disgustingly rude person exists.
A few minutes later, the man sneezes yet again. Once more he whips out his dick and wipes the tip off.
By now the woman has had enough. She turns to the man and says, "Three times you have sneezed and each time you have removed your penis from your pants and wiped it off. What the hell are you?"
The man replies, "I have a very rare condition that causes me to have an orgasm each time I sneeze."
"How strange," the woman says. "What are you taking anything for it?"
"Pepper," he replies.

Little Bobby is in school one day when the teacher announced that it was time for sex ed class. She gave each student a word dealing with sex and, as homework, they had to find out its meaning.
Little Bobby was assigned the word "penis". So little Bobby goes home and asks his dad...."Dad, whats a penis?"
His dad drops his pants, proudly whips out his dick and says "Bobby, THIS is a penis. And by the way THIS is a PERFECT penis."
So the next day at school the teacher asks little Bobby if he has learned what a penis is. Little Bobby drops his pants, whips out his dick and says... "THIS is a penis. And if it was 3 inches shorter, THIS would be a PERFECT penis.