1. You never run out of wheat
2. Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats
3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
4. Your province is really easy to draw
5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house
7. YOUR Roughriders survived
8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
9. People will assume you live on a farm
10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense
After years of psychotherapy, John no longer believeshe is a grain of wheat. However, one day he and afriend came across a chicken, and John was terrified." Why are you so afraid, you're not a grainof wheat after all," his friend asked. John replied, "You know it and I know it, but the chicken doesn't know it." Sent by Marc
This is a script I wrote for our campus humor paper. So copyright me,
and the Koala, and the Regents, and I printed it first so if you copy
it I can sue you for imaginary damages.
(Scene: The inside of a restaurant. As people eat, the announcer walks in
from the left and faces the camera.)
Announcer: Tonight, we are here at the Platinum Penguin
restaurant in Beverly Hills, where we've secretly
replaced the fine coffee they usually serve with sand
and ground-up clam shells. Here's what they thought.
(Cut to table #1. Man sips the coffee and spits it out all over his wife.
Cut to table #2. Woman sips coffee and starts gagging. Cut to inside
kitchen. The cook, screaming, pours the coffee out all over the floor. Cut
to table #1, where couple is trying to recover)
Announcer: You're right! (Couple looks at announcer as he puts
can of coffee on table) This isn't real coffee, it's...
(Fade to black.)
(Scene: The more...
A blonde lady was driving down the road injoying the sceenery and the breeze in her hair when she saw another blonde woman sitting in a row boat in the middle of a field of wheat, rowwing. Hitting hard on the brakes, she spun the car aound and drove back to the woman in the boat. Slamming her car door she stomps over to the edge of the wheat field and yelled "It is stupid people like you that give blondes a bad name! And if I could swim, I would come out there and give you what for!"
A blonde was driving down an old country road when she spotted a blonde rowing a boat in a in a wheat field. She pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field.
"Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?"
The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat."
The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious.
She yells at the blonde in the field. "It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name."
The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.
The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at the blonde in the field then yelled, "If I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass."