3 backpackers, an Englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman walked into a bar in Sydney.The trio walk up to bar, the bartender leans over.He says "
I DON'T WANT ANY FIGHTS! If you start any, all of you will be chucked out.There's a man at the end of the bar, he's 6'5in.and 250lbs and has no ears.He's very sensitive about having no ears and if he catches looking at him, he'll rip ya heads off"
2 hours later, the bouncer approaches the three. He turns to the Englishman, and says "
Hey you, what are you looking at?"
I was looking at your hair, you have lovely hair, you should look after your hair."
He says "
Because if you don't, you end up bald like me."
He turns to the Welshman,"
What are you looking at?"
I was looking at your teeth, you have nice, white teeth.You should look after those teeth."
He says "
An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a Welshman were all sitting in the pub having a beer, when the conversation ran dry.
The Englishman, trying to start it back up again, said, "Guys, I was born on the 23rd April, which is St George's Day, the Patron Saint of England, so my parents decided to call me George. What do you think of that?"
The Scotsman replied, "That's a coincidence! I was born on St Andrew's Day, our Patron Saint, so my parents called me Andrew!"
The Welshman said, "You aint going to believe this! I was born on St David's Day, so my parents called me David!"
The Englishman noticed that the Irishman was very quiet. So he turned to him and asked, "What's your story then, Pancake?"
There are three guys walking together along the Welsh/English border...a Welshman, a Scot, and an Englishman. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out,' I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes.'
To this, the Scot says' I am a sheep herder. My dad's a sheep herder, his dad was a sheep herder, and my son will be one too. I want my country to be full of lovely sheep farms'...' FOOM!' all the land in Scotland was full of an infinite supply of sheep farms.
The Englishman was amazed. He said' I want a wall around England to keep those damned Scots and Welsh out'...' FOOM!!' there was a wall around England.
The Welshman says' Tell me more about this wall.'
The genie says' Well, its about 200 feet high, 100 feet thick, it goes all around England, and nothing can get in or out.'
After a moment of consideration, the Welshman says' Fill it with water.'
A Welshman an Englishman and a Irishman were being chased by Farmer Giles with a shotgun. After 10 minutes of running they spotted a barn and ran inside. Once inside they each hid in a old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into the barn but did not see where they went, he was about to turn back when he saw three suspicious looking sacks. He walked forward and prodded the first sack with his gun. The Englishman inside said...''Meow''. "Just cats," he thought.He then prodded the second sack. The Welshman, hearing how the Englishman got off said....''woof''. "Just dogs," he thought. As he walked towards the last sack, the Irishman worked out what he was going to say. As soon as the farmer prodded his sack he said... ''potatoes!''
An Englishman, a Welshman and an Arabian are sitting in a bar.
The Englishman says, "I've got ten children, one more and I'll have a football team."
The Welshman says, "I've got fourteen children, one more and I'll have a rugby team."
The Arabian says, "I've got seventeen wives, one more and I'll have a golf course."