Weight Loss Jokes / Recent Jokes
A new study shows that the “Freshman 15” weight gain is actually closer to 5 to 7 pounds, but that is usually
followed by the “Sophomore 2 or 3,” which itself is often followed by the “Junior abortion.”
"Why should the public have to take care of its own health when it is clearly a nation-wide problem?" survey respondents asked.
All of your pants have an elastic waistband
You are done eating and you can hear your skin actually stretch
You have your cholesterol checked and it comes back: BACON
It takes 2 hands to masturbate 1 to hold your stomach up and the other 1 to do it.
Your sweat smells like hot dog water
You have your own gravitational pull
The all you can eat buffet cuts you off
Richard Simmons comes to your house
Just hearing the word bacon, hotdog, and buffet make you hungry
You’re a stunt double for John Goodman
If this is you or someone you know get help before they have to cut the wall out!
New studies declare that eating chocolate and drinking red wine prevent heart attacks. It also increases your chances of one night stands with fat chicks.
A neuropsychologist has identified a condition where a person involuntarily “tastes” words. This appears to explain how one can be overweight yet never seem to stop talking long enough to eat.
New York City became the first city in the country to pass a law that bans trans fats.
In the first major test of the law, Subway spokesman Jared Fogle was shot 50 times in an undercover sting gone horribly wrong.
Lawyers are attempting to find a loophole in the new law that would allow Aretha Franklin to perform at Madison Square Garden.
A London professor wants the British government to put warning labels on clothes for obese people alerting them to the dangers of being overweight.
A similar program is already in place in the U.S. on clothes featuring tags that say "elastic waistband."