Weeping Jokes

The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
The high divorce rates in America indicate that the U.S. is still the Land of the Free, but your marriage demonstrates that we also remain the Home of the Brave!
The man says: With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow. (Book of Common Prayer)
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
If you are the best man at a wedding there is always my favorite toast:
The screwing you'll get is going to be worth the screwing you'll get.
I didn't have the guts to use it at the wedding but it got a lot of laughs at the bachelor party.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him.
The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. more...

There are three men a plane; an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman.
When each of them flew over their country they dropped an item.
When the plane flew over England, the Englishman dropped a rose; when the plane flew over Scotland, the Scotsman dropped a thistle, and finally, when the plane flew over Ireland, the Irishman dropped a bomb.(Yes, Irishmen are crazy!)
They then flew over all the countries again, but passing by where they dropped the items.
In England the rose had dropped in a bus station and a woman was weeping.
They asked, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said in reply, "Well, the Lord sent me a rose but I'm allergic to them."
Next, they journeyed over to Scotland. In Scotland also the thistle had dropped in a bus station.
In the station a man was screaming and yelling. They asked the man, "Man, why are you yelling?" He answered, "Well, a thistle fell from the sky, but it landed in my more...

Wedding Toasts 6
The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
The high divorce rates in America indicate that the U. S. is still the Land of the Free, but your marriage demonstrates that we also remain the Home of the Brave!
The man says: With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow. (Book of Common Prayer)
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
If you are the best man at a wedding there is always my favorite toast:
The screwing you'll get is going to be worth the screwing you'll get.
I didn't have the guts to use it at the wedding but it got a lot of laughs at the bachelor party.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him.
The theory used to be you marry an older more...

Once Santa And Banta Were Sitting In A Clinic For A Medical Test.
Banta Was Weeping Noisely. When Santa Asked What Happened, He Replied That He Had Come There For Blood Test And Doctors Will Cut His Finger. Hearing This, Santa Started Weeping Even More Noisely. Amazed, Banta Asked What Happened.
Santa Replied: I M Here For A Urine Test.

The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"The high divorce rates in America indicate that the U.S. is still the Land of the Free, but your marriage demonstrates that we also remain the Home of the Brave! The man says: With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow. (Book of Common Prayer)The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.If you are the best man at a wedding there is always my favorite toast:The screwing you'll get is going to be worth the screwing you'll get.I didn't have the guts to use it at the wedding but it got a lot of laughs at the bachelor party.The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him.The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't more...