Wayne Jokes

Today, every Tom, Dick and Harry is called Wayne.
Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked,' what did you think of the scenery? '
' Oh, I couldn't see much,' Harry admitted.' There were all these mountains in the way.'

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many children?" asks the council worker "10" replies the Essex girl "10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne" "Doesn`t that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER`S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That`s easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames."

There are five people on a plane that's crashing. There is the pilot, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and a big, fat lady and four parachutes. The pilot jumps out and yells, ''God bless me!'' Bill Gates jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my bank account!'' Michael Jordan jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my team!'' Wayne Gretzky jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and the New York Rangers!'' The big, fat lady jumps out without a parachute and yells, ''God bless me and the people I land on!''

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Donut
Donut who?
Donut open till Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithfull...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Avery
Avery who?
Avery merry Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Rudolph
Rudolph who?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Igloo
Igloo who?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

Q. What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
A. Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.