Wave Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of the Anglo-Irish accords - the crowd is huge - thousands. Her Majesty and His Holiness can`t help but have a little rivalry - both being heads of churches and all.
The Queen says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?" He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Englishman in the crowd.
Gradually, the cheering subsides. The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considers what he could do. So the Pope says to the Queen,"Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with one little wave of MY hand I can make every Irish person in the crowd go crazy with joy? Their joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and more...

The little white-haired spinster was rocking on her front porch with her tomcat at her feet when a good fairy suddenly appeared and offered her three wishes.
"Aw, go on," the little old lady said disbelievingly. "If you can grant wishes, let's see you turn this rocking chair into a pile of gold."
A wave of the good fairy's wand and the spinster found herself atop a pile of pure gold. Her face lighting up, she asked: "I get two more wishes?"
"Yes," the good fairy assured her. "Anything your heart desires."
"Then make me into a beautiful, voluptuous young girl," she ordered. Another wave of the wand and her wish was granted.
"Now," she said, "make my faithful old cat into a tall, dark and handsome young man."
The good fairy waved her wand and disappeared as the third wish came true and a muscular swain stood where the tomcat had just been sleeping.
The young man approached more...

DISCLAIMER: The sender of this joke and web site provider are not responsible or liable for any thing that happens while attempting these things.
CAUTION: Not to be attempted by anyone under 5 years driving expereince!
Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
Two words: Chicken suit.
Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
Stop at the green lights.
Go at the red ones.
Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
Eat food that requires silverware.
Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
Sing without having the radio more...

Father Pat and Father Mike were riding down the highway with Father Pat at the wheel. Mileage was being ticked off pretty well when suddenly a little rabbit jumped up onto the highway right in front of the car.
Father Pat did everything he could to miss the little bunny, he wrenched the wheel around, jammed on the brakes, and almost tipped the car over with his maneuvers, but to no avail....the rabbit was hit before the car could be stopped.
Both priests jumped out of the car, ran back to the rabbit to see if there was anything that could be done, but alas, it appeared that the rabbit was gone.
Father Pat pulled a bottle out of his pocket, sprinkled a few drops of the liquid on the rabbit, and instantly it jumped up and started waving vigorously.
Father Mike looked at Father Pat and said, "It's a miracle!" The rabbit stood there and continued to wave at them. Since it appeared that nothing else was needed, the two priests returned to the car, and Father more...

Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdome?
While the crowd was doing the wave, two blondes drowned.

A Jewish grandmother took her young grandson on holiday by the seaside. He was busily paddling away while she was just sunbathing. Suddenly a huge freak wave landed and carried the boy away.
The grandmother panicked and started praying saying things like "Please let me have my grandson back, he is all I have and he is only nine" etc.
As luck would have it another freak wave came on and swept the boy ashore into the arms of the grandmother. She was extemely grateful but she looked upto the heavens and cried "He was wearing a hat".

Strange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below "things to do while driving", as all driving should be taken seriously. The below "things to do while driving" are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle`s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors. Two words: Chicken suit. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone. Laugh a lot. A whole lot. Stop at the green lights. Go at the red ones. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance. Eat food that requires silverware. Pass cars, then drive very slowly. Sing without having the radio on. Honk more...