my home room teacher mr bowman went to new york for the weekend and when he got to his hotel he was nervous about the terriost things well he was lookin under neath the bed carpets in dores for bombs or anything well he looked underneath this one carpret and he saw a steel lid he said that he always brings tools where ever he goes so he got his screw driver and he unscrewed the lid and then he felt inside of it and there was nothin in it so he screwed the screws back on and they him and his wife went out and when they were checkin back in to their hotel the guy at the desk said how do u like ur room and he said it is ok and the guy at the desk said well the couple below you guys are at the hospital cause their shandalier fell on them and then our class started laughin and he said no for real it is true and we stopped laughin and he said it wasnt true but he scared me and my class so bad cause he had hurt some body i got you there didnt i u thought i wasnt jokin about that you thought more...
Shaggy, Shania Twain, and Brittney Spears were in an elevator. Someone farted. Shaggy said, It Wasnt Me, Shania said, That Dont Impress Me Much, and Brittney said, Oops I Did It Again!
The next day they entered the elevator again. Someone farted. Shaggy said, It Wasnt Me, Shania said, That Dont Impress Me Much, and Brittney said, Stronger Than Yesterday!
Why wasnt Jesus born in LA?
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
A girl walked over to her neighbors for her morning chat session. When she got there, her neighbor remarked how tired she looked. "Yeah" she said, "I didnt sleep well last night, I had this really strange dream." "Do tell" said her neighbor, pouring the coffee. "Well, I dreamed I woke up and went downstairs as usual, but when I looked in the mirror my face had turned orange, and my hair was sticking straight up out of my head and was green!" "Sounds like you turned into a punk rocker or something" the neighbor said, with a grin. "No" she said, "It wasnt like that. It was as if I knew something was wrong, but it seemed normal somehow, you know what I mean?" "Sure" said the neighbor, "Everybodys had dreams like that." "Well anyway" she continued, "I decided to go down and get the mail, because even in my dream, I figured I must be dreaming, so what the heck if I was orange, you know? more...
Casey married a rich widow, but they didnt get along. One day she said to him, "If it wasnt for my money, that new television wouldnt be here. If it wasnt for my money, that grand piano wouldnt be here. If it wasnt for my money, this house wouldnt be here." Casey mumbled, "If it wasnt for your money, I wouldnt be here."