Washington DC Jokes
Laura Bush has demanded that Myanmar release imprisoned activist Aung San Suu Kyi.
"And if you refuse," threatened the First Lady, "I will visit a kindergarten in Washington D.C. and pretend to teach a black child to read."
An underwater volcano has been discovered near Sicily, that is purported to be larger than Washington, DC.
We should probably double-check, though, by making sure every politician in Washington fits into this thing at once.
The U.S. Mint hopes U.S. presidents can succeed where Susan B. Anthony and Sacajawea failed as they release new dollar coins featuring George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.
The dollar coins featuring female figures were viewed as being worth only 70 cents.
In the News:
The Free Hugs campaign, which started in Australia and is aimed at cheering up strangers by hugging them on the street, is not going over too well in China, with some huggers even being hauled away to jail – where cellmates tend to encourage hugs.
A Mississippi woman let her husband, an avid sports fan, pick the name for their newborn son. He named the boy ESPN but the other kids will probably call him ESPenis, LeSPN, and Loser-I’m-Gonna-Kick-Your-Butt-at-RecessPN.
The mayor of Gallatin, Tennessee claims he didn’t know, when he allowed filmmakers to use his office to shoot "Thong Girl 3," that the movie was about a super-heroine who gets her powers from her red thong. Citizens are outraged and rightly so. Every decent politician knows his porn.
A Washington state man was charged with bestiality after his wife found him on the back porch having intercourse with their female pit bull terrier. He faces up to five years in more...
....in producing illiterate graduates.
Despite spending more than twice the national average per pupil, Washington DC's illiteracy rate is 33% versus 21% for the nation.
$11,269 per student really isn't much, says an administrator, it barely pays for the Ninth Graders' bitches.