Vow Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me send money.

    30> Given an infinite number of geeks in an infinite number of "Star Trek" conventions, would there be at least one with a life?

    29> Why is Pauly Shore so successful, while a deserving and talented actor like Tom Arnold is still struggling?

    28> Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Ask why Bell charges so much for toll calls.

    27> Can God make Marlon Brando so big that even He can't move him?

    26> If you could go back in time, would you give Hitler a wedgie?

    25> The sky's just BLUE, dammit! Get over it!

    24> If you sell a video explaining how you didn't kill your ex-wife and her male friend and no one buys it, does it make a sound?

    23> What will I have for lunch today -- chicken salad or egg salad?

    22> How much cheese could Chuck E. Cheese chuck if Chuck E. Cheese could chuck cheese?

    21> Yeah, where the hell *is* Waldo?

    20> If a monk, living in a monastery, takes a vow of more...

    At a monastery high in the mountains, the monks have a rigid vow
    of silence. Only at Christmas, and only by one monk, and only
    with one sentence, is the vow allowed to be broken.
    One Christmas, Brother Thomas is allowed to speak and he says, "I
    like the mashed potatoes we have with the Christmas turkey!" and
    he sits down. Silence ensues for 365 days.
    The next Christmas, Brother Michael gets his turn, and he says "I
    think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I hate them!"
    Once again, silence for 366 days (it's leap year). The following
    Christmas, Brother Paul rises and says, "I am fed up with this
    constant bickering!"

    Ask me about my vow of silence.

    At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence.

    One Christmas, Brother Thomas had his turn to speak and said, "I love the delightful mashed potatoes we have every year with the Christmas roast!" Then he sat down. Silence ensued for 365 days.

    The next Christmas, Brother Michael got his turn, and said, "I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I truly despise them!" Once again, silence ensued for 365 days.

    The following Christmas, Brother Paul rose and said, "I am fed up with this constant bickering!"

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