Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
Q: What are steroids? A: more...
Dear Hot Ramen, I have a problem. Every morning at 6am the workers come into my neighbor's apartment, which is right next door to mine and start pounding on the walls. They just pound and pound until noon, take an hour rest and then pound some more. I work at home and I'm not getting any work done. My boss is threatening to fire me. I want to kill them, but my neighbor is hot and I've been wanting to get into his pants since I moved in. What should I do? Signed,
Neighborly Love (not related to Courtney)
Dear Neighborly, Aiyah! First thing- Get earplugs quick! Then talk to your neighbor about your little disturbance, but be sure to wear your earplugs so that your neighbor needs to shout to be heard. Keep asking him to speak louder and finally you can suggest you go into your apartment where it is not so noisy. When he comes in quickly take out the earplugs and feed him some
of Hot Ramen's speeecial Ooh-la-la Ramen Romance Soup. This soup is from an ancient soup recipe more...