Vienna Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Pilot To Tower

    Hot 4 months ago

    LH741:"Tower, give me a rough timecheck!"
    Tower: "It's tuesday, Sir."

    Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
    Pilot: Yes.
    Tower: Yes what??
    Pilot: Yes, SIR!

    Tower: Shamu Two Two, please state estimated time of arrival.
    Pilot: Ok, let's see..., I think Tuesday would be nice...

    Pilot: "Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo estabished ILS16."
    Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo, Guten Tag, cleared to land 16, wind calm and by the way: this is Wien Tower."
    Pilot: (short break) "Bratislava Tower, Oscar Oscar Kilo passed the outer marker."
    Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo roger, and once more: you are approaching Vienna!"
    Pilot: (short break again) "Confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?"
    Tower: "You can believe me, this is Vienna!
    Pilot: (once again short break) "But why? We want to go to Bratislava, not to Vienna!"
    Tower: "Oscar more...

    These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie.
    1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
    2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking
    3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
    4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
    A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
    5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
    A: Let's not touch this one.
    6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? more...

    These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie....

    1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

    2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?(USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

    3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney- can Ifollow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.. .

    4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
    A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

    5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise.(Italy)
    A: Let's not touch this one.

    6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in more...

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