Victory Jokes

The General shouted to his troops, "Onward To Victory"!
About 30 minutes later, an urgent message reached him....... "Need Further Instructions, Victory not on map"!

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

The US has achieved its first victory in Afghanistan.
The Red Cross has surrendered.

In the Twenty-Twenty World Cup, post match presentation....
Ravi Shastri to Dhoni: "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail baiting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."
Dhoni: "Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri: "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni: "All of us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri: "Agarkar? ? . . how come Agarkar... he didn't play in the final"..
Dhoni: "Yeah.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs...."
Shastri: "ok.. fine, To whom you want to thank for winning more...

The professor had just related to his history class the event where an ancient runner had covered the 29 miles from the plains of Marathon to Troy to finally cry "Victory - Victory" and then fall dead from the run. Asking for comments, the class sat quietly until one student, a cross-country team member from the back of the room quietly asked - "did anybody get his time?"