Veterinarian Jokes / Recent Jokes

The sheriff of a small western town was also the town veterinarian. Late one night the phone rang, and his wife answered it.
"Is your husband there?" asked an agitated voice.
"Do you require my husband's services as a sheriff or as a veterinarian?" She asked.
"Both," came the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2: 00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice." Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?" "Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?" There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied "Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone""Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that will that stop them?" "Should do," said the vet, "- IT STOPPED ME!"

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income. He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy - Either way, you get your dog back!"

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.
He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way, you get your dog back!"

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got
home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting
with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after
which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.

At about 2: 00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the
vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice.

"Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?"

"Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's a whole bunch of
cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I
can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?"

There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then
patiently replied "Open the window and tell them they're wanted
on the phone"

"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that will that stop them?"

"Should do," said the vet, more...

A man rushed into the veterinarian's office carrying his dog, thoroughly distraught. The vet examined the dog's still, limp body and sadly informed the man that the dog was dead.
Saddened at the loss of his best friend, the man asked the doctor if he could please try one last time to revive the dog. The doctor stepped into his other room and returned with a cat in a wire cage. He set the cage on the examining table and opened the sliding door.
The cat got up, stretched, stepped out of the cage and slowly walked around the dog from head to tail sniffing the body. When it was finished, it looked up at the veterinarian with a "meow", walked back into the cage and went back to sleep.
The vet looked at the man and said in his best bedside manner, "I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do.

A man rushed into the veterinarian's office carrying his dog, thoroughly distraught. The vet examined the dog's still, limp body and sadly informed the man that the dog was dead.Saddened at the loss of his best friend, the man asked the doctor if he could please try one last time to revive the dog. The doctor stepped into his other room and returned with a cat in a wire cage. He set the cage on the examining table and opened the sliding door.The cat got up, stretched, stepped out of the cage and slowly walked around the dog from head to tail sniffing the body. When it was finished, it looked up at the veterinarian with a