Veterans Jokes

Santa mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride.
He sits down next to a guy that jerks his head to the left every few seconds, over and over.
This really bothers Santa so he asks him, "What's wrong with you?"
The reply is, "I got this in the war."
Santa finds this pretty disturbing so he switches seats.
The next guy he sits by has uncontrollable spastic twitches in his right leg, causing him to kick the seat in front of him, and even kicks Fred a few times.
So Santa asks him, "What is wrong with you?"
Again the answer is, "I got this in the war."
Santa moves. The next guy poor Santa sits by begins erratically flailing his left hand.
Santa says, "Let me guess, you got that in the war?"
His reply was, "No, I got it out of my nose. I can't get it off of my hand."

A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh.""Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.""Im the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today hed be the most famous man in the world.""Really? Whatd he do?" his friends wanted to know."Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."

Two veterans were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled, ” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click. ”
“Very good, ” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle. ”
“What was the jingle? ” asked the first.
“Oh, ” replied the other off hand, “just our medals. ”

A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall.
"My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh."
"Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn."
"I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be
the most famous man in the world."
"Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know.
"Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."

A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh.""Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.""I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be
the most famous man in the world.""Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know."Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."