Valve Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Fission shmission, relax, I'll increase the water level after my coffee break.
    Was that "Open valve A and close valve B" or was it the other way round?
    This whole plant will be running under Win95 tomorrow.
    HEY! Is smoke coming out of the core normal?
    Who forgot to pay the water bill???
    We got 12 seconds to WHAT???
    Meet your new plan superintendent: Bozo the clown.
    A leak? Can't you fix it with duct tape or something?
    Oh yeah! 50 bucks says I can make it blow.
    It's Russian technology.
    Move over Three Mile Island - here we come!!!
    Sniff, sniff... you smell that?
    I used to work at Chernobyl.
    All the way to the RIGHT, not LEFT you dummy!
    It's your turn to wax the core.
    How come all the big shots are leaving?
    Is that a 60 minute film crew out there?
    Is this part really necessary?
    OF COURSE I went to high school. Didn't finish it, though.
    Look at the good news: we are going to find out whether people more...

    ACURA
    Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
    Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
    AMC
    All Makes Combined
    A Major Cost
    A Mutated Car
    A Morons Car
    Another Major Catastrophe
    AUDI
    Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
    Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
    Automobile Under Demonic Influence
    Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
    Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
    Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
    BMW
    Big Money Works
    Bought My Wife
    Brutal Money Waster
    Break My Window
    Break My Windshield
    Babbling Mechanical Wench
    Beastly Monstrous Wonder
    Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Barely Moving Wreck
    Big Money Waste
    Big Money. Why?
    Big Money Works
    Born Moderately Wealthy
    Breaks Most Wrenches
    Bring More Wrenches
    Brings Me Women
    Brings More Women
    Broken Money Waster
    Broke My Wallet
    Broken Monstrous Wonder
    Bumbling Mechanical more...

    Boy, it really galls my threads when these ignoramuses go off about how the Corvette crowd is 'over-restoring' cars! I say, restored means *exactly* as the factory did it, no matter what. I spent 95 weeks last year doing an accurate and complete ground-up restoration on my '67. And, let me tell you, some of those rubber and glass pieces are *really* hard to restore after grinding them up! Thankfully, the metal pieces are easy to remelt and form.
    For some folks, simply applying a bit of overspray while painting is 'good enough.' I scoff at this. I meticulously copied onto the mufflers, droplet by droplet, the exact overspray pattern that was there originally. Even the runs and sags at the bottom of the door panels were duplicated. Your average 'restorer' will just slap some new paint on, calling it 'original' if it is the same color. Jeeez. I chemically removed every vestige of *the original paint*, then broke it down, reformulated it, and re-applied it. Sure, I had to use more...

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